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I don’t think anyone understands just how impressionable I am. I take opinions and advice seriously and I will listen and obey. It’s what I’ve been raised to do, it’s all I’ve ever done.
Thinking for myself is hard because someone always has an opinion and even though I may not want to listen, I do because that’s all I know.
To go against that is extremely difficult for me. When you tell me to keep going, even though it hurts, I will. If you think I’ve done something wrong, trust me when I say I feel way worse than you because I feel like a failure and my hurt is so much bigger than you will ever know.
So when I am trying persistently to disobey, it’s because I am no longer able to keep going. I’m just trying to think for myself for once, to take care of myself. Please stop making me feel stupid for doing so.


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